The end is only the beginning of the end.

Prom. Prom was good. Prom was great.
It had its ups and downs.
Ups: being, finally, in harrisonburg again, on my own, with a car.
Downs: the police
Writing this is like flicking through a mental slide show of what happened. It was great in some ways. Really really great, sort of like...generic high school prom great? And I guess way more. I finally got to meet those people that I wanted to meet, and that have apparently, without my knowledge, have wanted to meet me too, and always greet me with "I've heard so much about you." This greeting is hard to respond to. You can't lie and say, "I've heard so much about you too" if you haven't, you have to say "I love being here" or, "It's great to finally meet you." The road trip was really great and that evening, with all those people and Iron Man and my dog cake and everything was really really nice. And there was staying up late into the night and as Larry likes to put it "The bumpin and grindin and sex and butt doing on the dance floor". Thanks Larry for eating my cake, it was really nice seeing you. One more prom to go, which is mine and will be incredibly more chill I believe. Just going to play some wii and dress up and watch some stars and dance to some really bad music. I think that that is my only huge beef with prom. The music. I would really appreciate some decent techno, even though the DJ played Sandstorm, which I believe is about as good as its going to get. Oh well, maybe one day they'll have actual DJs- that means you Jerm. Sorry to all those people I never texted back and thank you to Nevin, who so willingly let us into his home and let us pet his cat. Yeah...try not to take that in the wrong way.

Downs: Chinckening out
Ups: My first ever I-hop

Hush

So Please
please
please, let me
let me, let me, let me
get what I want
this time









The Lancers are coming.

My Favorite Game

- The Cardigans

Those favorite people of mine. The games they play. The secretive suprises. The great vibrations. The wonderful excitations.

Those favorite people of mine.

Larry R. and Anthony T.
The ones that jump in a car together and come visit me on a whim. They lie and they show up at my house on a Sunday aftrnoon and there is hugging and sweaty reunions and them hanging out of my car. Not only do I love them both, but I will be friends with them forever. We're Harry, Ron, and Hermoine. I love Larry like Mary loves Jesus. We'll even let Larry's girlfriend into the group. 'Cause they are my handsome, loveable, completely senseless, heartwarming, suprising favorites.


Did I take you shopping? ...Even if you're my sister? Did we buy scandalous things together?

You're my favorite, Hannah T.


Do I know what your favorite music is, and talk to you almost everyday, for hours? Even if we don't talk in person that much? And we can always, always talk music.

You're my favorite, Jeremy B.

Are you always the first friend I go to, cause we both know you're one of my bestfriends here and I know you can always give me the right (morally right) answer to my problems?

You're my favorite, Rebekah S.

I know my favorites by what I say to them.
Did I send you a text a midnight? Was it your birthday?

You're my favorite, Andy G.


Have you gone through that high school hell for me? Are you there waiting for me to show up so that me can read The Onion and Drudge Report and have become my number one friend this year, all just because we bondedover politics thatone day and we hang out all the time? I make you CDs and you stand up for me and you're going to take that Korean girl to prom if I have to beg her?

You're my favorite, Palmer G.

Will we always be friends and live parallel lives and fight for the highest chem grade? Will we always have deep conversations about family? Soon? Will you teach me to climb trees and play guitar? Will your brother date my sister again? Will I always be mocked for "not washing these knives"?

You're my favorite, Jude S.

Do we have those great, slighlty awkward little siter/big sister friend conversations on the bus twice a week and have become pretty good friends over the past months? Do we have the same tastes in schools, music, men, clothes? Do people mistake us constantly for one another? Do you walk like a dinosaur?

You're my favorite, Zaina N.

Do I always love seeing you? Do I think you're a brilliant, incredibly gorgeous musician/icon/friend? Do I think we Should hang out more? More and more. Yes. Is there so much more to say about you that I can't put into words?

You're my favorite, Nora K.

Let's sound circle.

http://soundingcircle.com/newslog2.php/__show_article/_a000195-000336.htm

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Groupie

so let's go

In explosions of rainbow glow
April came with seeds to sew
In murmuring whispers of lo-fi reverb
trees rustling was all that we heard
After three days of setting suns-
we landlocked lovers were looking for sun
Found it hiding under the docks at about mid-June
freedom, was whispered, it's coming soon
But the rain falls heavy with a ozone smell
and the life of it all is a scribbling hell
Pummeling madly at my window screen
in a million broken drops of cycling sheens
Heaved from heavy laden clouds in my April sky
the air is permeated with its dripping highs
The lows of the cattle and the bird call sings
in the mornings that now April brings
And the fervor, the unwavering, the steady pound
of millions in spring fever, screaming loud
Yelling, jumping, telling Now!
Now is the time to move about!
There are bruises on their knees and thighs
they run and push and kick all night
They win their wars, they lose them too
they sink down into the wallowing blues-
And reds and purples and violets of spring
the pungent yellows, the green sprigs
Laid out in wet grass with soft yellow dogs
watching clouds overhead and the lingering fog
The fever catches and bites in hard
its hard not to gallop and trot and charge
Up and Down! and Up! and Down again!
the bruises will heal, the bones will mend
Theres no fever like tomorrow, the promise of today
so let's go kill April til the 1st of May

C'mon

Oh on a sunday afternoon
shouldn't you be sitting on a pew?
No, the rain it falls too hard
you find yourself dancing in the park
listening to the songs.

Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall- Simon and Garfunkel
Acid Tongue-Jenny Lewis
Blood Bank- Bon Iver
Four provinces-The Walkmen
Walking On a Dream- Empire of the Sun
God Save the Queen- Nouvelle Vague
Skeletons- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
World Spins Madly On- The Weepies
Cosmic Dancer- T. Rex
Dandelions in a Bullet Hole- Sarah Harmer
Summerwind- Ole Frankie Blue eyes
Ain't No Sunshine- Bill Withers
Bonnie & Clyde- Serge Gainsbourg and Jane the F*CK Birkin
Islands in the Stream- Feist
Whenever you're Ready- The Zombies
All This Is That- Beach Boys
Cinammon Girl- Neil Young
I Found Love- The Free Design
Unforgettable- Nat "King"
If I Should Lose You- Joe Williams
Im Your Man- Leonard Cohen

Collegiate Environment

I'm absolutely terrified and excited and horrified by the idea of college now. Just as the early April news of colleges burnt through CVGS with congratulation going out to those that got into such prestigious entities such as Princeton, MIT, University of Chicago, and the great colleges of Virginia, and all the news of wait listing and rejection letters blew through, I was left a little shocked I could say. Maybe, more frightened, of just the process; the essays, compiling portfolios, applications, money, wait listing, rejections, life decisions. All of those things that culminate into that one step of adulthood that it is almost necessary for all Americans to take in the current environment. College. I know its for me. And, even though, my parents would love to persist in the reasoning that I don't have to move away to go, that I will always be around to sort and wash the laundry properly and to play soccer in the spring and ask them permission to go to the movies. But, college is that one step, that one really big step in the path of adulthood, and its one that is almost completely necessary in every Americans life in this current environment that we have created here. College is a necessary institution that anyone should be ready to partake in. Right now I realize that I'm not ready, and so my persistent moans of "I'm never going to college" is just the fear releasing itself in a less unhealthy way than others. The stress of SAT/AP/Gov School exams all got piled up into two or three weeks, and this fall looks as far away as it ever has. I'm not even halfway into the clear, even with almost one month left and maybe this is why college is just college. It's not yet tangible as much as I walk around UVA or watch college soccer games. But I haven't lost hope in going the distance with my education. I just have to find that niche, the one that I hope a university might facilitate. Not only is it a place to grow, but it seems to be the place to find yourself, the place that brings people together that should be together and the place that either strengthens or unties those bonds that were made in High School. An adjustment to where caring is only slightly considered by both teachers and students alike.

I probably shouldn't be scared of college. But for now I'll remain unconvinced as to what my proper attitude towards it should be. I guess I'll just have to consider the fact that I'm still young, as everyone over the age of 25 likes to tell me. But, young is almost never an excuse, it is only a pardon, just as college is not a requirement, but a gateway. A gateway that I'd really love to get into.

Fill it in.

I'm bored with writing. Back to lists!

Clothed in?
A sweater, jeans, white tee, it's chilly

Weather?
Sunny and cold as....as (insert dirty joke about oprahs vj here)

Best love song ever?
God Only Knows - by the cute Beach Boys

Best making love song ever?
Caress Me Down - Sublime

only rivalved by maybe Strange Love by Little Annie

Song in my head?
Lay Me Down by Dirty Heads

Eating?
Enchilladas ...Yogurt

Wanting?
that movement
whispers
uh, uh
BOOKS!
photos with flowers...and me :[

Needing?
Air
Breathing
Loving
the sun (I'm a flower)
summertime (oh sublime, where the livings easy)

Oggling?
watches
the 70's prom pictures
WALT WHITMAN
your car
that car (that blue beatle)
rap stars girlfriends
spray paint ...temptation
you
words
adrogynous males/women
IDYLLE blog
The Magic school Bus
color pigments
art in all its flashy beauty
fountains
Interview mag
the color red
flowers that you pin on
cloth

Take a bite out of life.

Touch your lips,

then stop

Then do it again.

Texts I send
Chat I write
Words I speak
in a day:

"They have ultra sharp teeth to bite your earses off"

"Your face makes me angry"

"Is there anything sexier than a ginger fro??"

"He's never going to cut his hair, and so you'll never kiss him. Good luck on having children NOW."

"Give me my rootbeer before I reach for your crotch!!" (To my sister)

"Kenya is the same as Ethiopia"

"I want Jack White to be my friend"

"Papau New Guineau smells sooooo good"

"MERRR"

"You want to make love ice tea?"

"Shorter dresses mean easy access...just saying"

"When you were dancing you moved your arms"

"I wouldn't kill you, just throw angry cats at you"

"learn about races and their food likes, so that way you can exploit them."

"I realize that that ....... ohmygod, man walking cats!"

"I forgot to tell you, but today a ginger ate my homework"































mmmm life is tasty