Collegiate Environment

I'm absolutely terrified and excited and horrified by the idea of college now. Just as the early April news of colleges burnt through CVGS with congratulation going out to those that got into such prestigious entities such as Princeton, MIT, University of Chicago, and the great colleges of Virginia, and all the news of wait listing and rejection letters blew through, I was left a little shocked I could say. Maybe, more frightened, of just the process; the essays, compiling portfolios, applications, money, wait listing, rejections, life decisions. All of those things that culminate into that one step of adulthood that it is almost necessary for all Americans to take in the current environment. College. I know its for me. And, even though, my parents would love to persist in the reasoning that I don't have to move away to go, that I will always be around to sort and wash the laundry properly and to play soccer in the spring and ask them permission to go to the movies. But, college is that one step, that one really big step in the path of adulthood, and its one that is almost completely necessary in every Americans life in this current environment that we have created here. College is a necessary institution that anyone should be ready to partake in. Right now I realize that I'm not ready, and so my persistent moans of "I'm never going to college" is just the fear releasing itself in a less unhealthy way than others. The stress of SAT/AP/Gov School exams all got piled up into two or three weeks, and this fall looks as far away as it ever has. I'm not even halfway into the clear, even with almost one month left and maybe this is why college is just college. It's not yet tangible as much as I walk around UVA or watch college soccer games. But I haven't lost hope in going the distance with my education. I just have to find that niche, the one that I hope a university might facilitate. Not only is it a place to grow, but it seems to be the place to find yourself, the place that brings people together that should be together and the place that either strengthens or unties those bonds that were made in High School. An adjustment to where caring is only slightly considered by both teachers and students alike.

I probably shouldn't be scared of college. But for now I'll remain unconvinced as to what my proper attitude towards it should be. I guess I'll just have to consider the fact that I'm still young, as everyone over the age of 25 likes to tell me. But, young is almost never an excuse, it is only a pardon, just as college is not a requirement, but a gateway. A gateway that I'd really love to get into.