Let's sound circle.

http://soundingcircle.com/newslog2.php/__show_article/_a000195-000336.htm

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Groupie

so let's go

In explosions of rainbow glow
April came with seeds to sew
In murmuring whispers of lo-fi reverb
trees rustling was all that we heard
After three days of setting suns-
we landlocked lovers were looking for sun
Found it hiding under the docks at about mid-June
freedom, was whispered, it's coming soon
But the rain falls heavy with a ozone smell
and the life of it all is a scribbling hell
Pummeling madly at my window screen
in a million broken drops of cycling sheens
Heaved from heavy laden clouds in my April sky
the air is permeated with its dripping highs
The lows of the cattle and the bird call sings
in the mornings that now April brings
And the fervor, the unwavering, the steady pound
of millions in spring fever, screaming loud
Yelling, jumping, telling Now!
Now is the time to move about!
There are bruises on their knees and thighs
they run and push and kick all night
They win their wars, they lose them too
they sink down into the wallowing blues-
And reds and purples and violets of spring
the pungent yellows, the green sprigs
Laid out in wet grass with soft yellow dogs
watching clouds overhead and the lingering fog
The fever catches and bites in hard
its hard not to gallop and trot and charge
Up and Down! and Up! and Down again!
the bruises will heal, the bones will mend
Theres no fever like tomorrow, the promise of today
so let's go kill April til the 1st of May

C'mon

Oh on a sunday afternoon
shouldn't you be sitting on a pew?
No, the rain it falls too hard
you find yourself dancing in the park
listening to the songs.

Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall- Simon and Garfunkel
Acid Tongue-Jenny Lewis
Blood Bank- Bon Iver
Four provinces-The Walkmen
Walking On a Dream- Empire of the Sun
God Save the Queen- Nouvelle Vague
Skeletons- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
World Spins Madly On- The Weepies
Cosmic Dancer- T. Rex
Dandelions in a Bullet Hole- Sarah Harmer
Summerwind- Ole Frankie Blue eyes
Ain't No Sunshine- Bill Withers
Bonnie & Clyde- Serge Gainsbourg and Jane the F*CK Birkin
Islands in the Stream- Feist
Whenever you're Ready- The Zombies
All This Is That- Beach Boys
Cinammon Girl- Neil Young
I Found Love- The Free Design
Unforgettable- Nat "King"
If I Should Lose You- Joe Williams
Im Your Man- Leonard Cohen

Collegiate Environment

I'm absolutely terrified and excited and horrified by the idea of college now. Just as the early April news of colleges burnt through CVGS with congratulation going out to those that got into such prestigious entities such as Princeton, MIT, University of Chicago, and the great colleges of Virginia, and all the news of wait listing and rejection letters blew through, I was left a little shocked I could say. Maybe, more frightened, of just the process; the essays, compiling portfolios, applications, money, wait listing, rejections, life decisions. All of those things that culminate into that one step of adulthood that it is almost necessary for all Americans to take in the current environment. College. I know its for me. And, even though, my parents would love to persist in the reasoning that I don't have to move away to go, that I will always be around to sort and wash the laundry properly and to play soccer in the spring and ask them permission to go to the movies. But, college is that one step, that one really big step in the path of adulthood, and its one that is almost completely necessary in every Americans life in this current environment that we have created here. College is a necessary institution that anyone should be ready to partake in. Right now I realize that I'm not ready, and so my persistent moans of "I'm never going to college" is just the fear releasing itself in a less unhealthy way than others. The stress of SAT/AP/Gov School exams all got piled up into two or three weeks, and this fall looks as far away as it ever has. I'm not even halfway into the clear, even with almost one month left and maybe this is why college is just college. It's not yet tangible as much as I walk around UVA or watch college soccer games. But I haven't lost hope in going the distance with my education. I just have to find that niche, the one that I hope a university might facilitate. Not only is it a place to grow, but it seems to be the place to find yourself, the place that brings people together that should be together and the place that either strengthens or unties those bonds that were made in High School. An adjustment to where caring is only slightly considered by both teachers and students alike.

I probably shouldn't be scared of college. But for now I'll remain unconvinced as to what my proper attitude towards it should be. I guess I'll just have to consider the fact that I'm still young, as everyone over the age of 25 likes to tell me. But, young is almost never an excuse, it is only a pardon, just as college is not a requirement, but a gateway. A gateway that I'd really love to get into.

Fill it in.

I'm bored with writing. Back to lists!

Clothed in?
A sweater, jeans, white tee, it's chilly

Weather?
Sunny and cold as....as (insert dirty joke about oprahs vj here)

Best love song ever?
God Only Knows - by the cute Beach Boys

Best making love song ever?
Caress Me Down - Sublime

only rivalved by maybe Strange Love by Little Annie

Song in my head?
Lay Me Down by Dirty Heads

Eating?
Enchilladas ...Yogurt

Wanting?
that movement
whispers
uh, uh
BOOKS!
photos with flowers...and me :[

Needing?
Air
Breathing
Loving
the sun (I'm a flower)
summertime (oh sublime, where the livings easy)

Oggling?
watches
the 70's prom pictures
WALT WHITMAN
your car
that car (that blue beatle)
rap stars girlfriends
spray paint ...temptation
you
words
adrogynous males/women
IDYLLE blog
The Magic school Bus
color pigments
art in all its flashy beauty
fountains
Interview mag
the color red
flowers that you pin on
cloth

Take a bite out of life.

Touch your lips,

then stop

Then do it again.

Texts I send
Chat I write
Words I speak
in a day:

"They have ultra sharp teeth to bite your earses off"

"Your face makes me angry"

"Is there anything sexier than a ginger fro??"

"He's never going to cut his hair, and so you'll never kiss him. Good luck on having children NOW."

"Give me my rootbeer before I reach for your crotch!!" (To my sister)

"Kenya is the same as Ethiopia"

"I want Jack White to be my friend"

"Papau New Guineau smells sooooo good"

"MERRR"

"You want to make love ice tea?"

"Shorter dresses mean easy access...just saying"

"When you were dancing you moved your arms"

"I wouldn't kill you, just throw angry cats at you"

"learn about races and their food likes, so that way you can exploit them."

"I realize that that ....... ohmygod, man walking cats!"

"I forgot to tell you, but today a ginger ate my homework"































mmmm life is tasty

Grievances

Grievances:

Girls that hold your hand when you tackle them in soccer
bitchy assed teachers
spicy food at night (like now)
no phone calls ?
dress lengths at the knee and below
touchy touchy people
screamo bands
bruised knees
bad haircuts
un focused cameras
red faces
crying people

{Juice}:
saran wrapping cars
petting
tanning like a bear does... think about it
low necklines
watching movies between classes
writing poems in my head

then forgetting them


Better:
seeing the full time boyfriend
not talking
cursing at the other team
puching/bruising/pushing/bullying
love
rings
shoes
live music
crashing birfdays
unforgettable saturday nights
Pop rocks
mocking birds in pet stores
really cute dogs
sarcastically making jokes about how good you look

You look so good even Mick Jagger would be jealous.

smiling with your canines
Heathers
that tingling sensation at the back of your legs
Harry Potter pick up lines
drawing elephants with unusually large trunks
mustaches
bagels

Teal

I used to write the most amazing haikus is fifth grade. They went something like...

There are large golden fields
swinging with wind
hear them humming

Hmmm...

I have a dress, it is a spectacular teal color. I want to wear it everywhere. It's not very appropriate for dancing, but I feel it looks like greek, grecian, Goddess atire. I have to decide what shoes to wear, and earrings and all those girl things.

It's very late on a thursday night, but it feels gorgeous outside, and I had a nap in the sun...and am tanner now.

A little music-

Don't feel like dancing - Scissor Sisters
Electric Shock- Gorillaz
Dirty Dishes- Deer Tick

They are all stuck in my head, and I wanted to share.

Let those

Let those weathered hands
full of sand
fall down upon
upon the ground
lift up the weight
the hills
the crates
take your burden to the shore
earth movers
here
shoveling palms
there
build castles from fine rock
they build it
all
upon the
sand
with extremely large
weathered
hands

Let those lungs full
of billows
made of paper
3 inches thick
breathe in and
out
move the earth
about
and make it move
around
and round
make wind fall hard
upon the scars
where the
rocky
underbelly
of the land
shows

Let the feet of turpentine
and sap
pick up aaaaaalllll the pieces
of sand
of earth
of dirt
and deposit it in one sitting
after running
deep in and across
this earth
make a mountain!
make the earth move!
make it turn!

Orange/Spinning

I took a bite out of an orange rind
but I couldn't quite break the skin
and the acid dripped slowy out
from the teeth marks I had bit in
and the zest hit my mouth
like the thorny edge of the sea
bites down hard and cold
against your bare legs and kness

I knocked hard on your door
and you let me right in
we slipped on the yogurt poured
all over your walls and floors
why was there dairy there?
we weren't really sure
but we slid all over your house
on those slippery curds

Now we are down by the lake again
skating across on the cellophane
we were walking all across
and running back again
our shirts are getting soaked
and the sun is getting wet
put back on your overcoat
the world, we are splashing it

All those people, kissing touching
all their remnants
kissing touching
all their ghostly shadows
kissing touching
in the dark
kissing touching

I was once excalceated, walking along a gravel road. It was 115 degrees.

At the same time I was wearing no sunblock and a bikini.

It was a stupid time, but not one I regret.

By the time we walked the two miles across the island we were parched and scorched and had finally found a source of comfort. Water.

Hidden from all the masses on the other side of the island was a cove, man made possibly, but gorgeous, twisting and opalescent. There was a private sailboat sheltering there among the rocky limestone crags. All of us sunk in and cooled the boiling skin that was shedding its water down our backs. We were brown skinned and light headed but the Caribbean was cool. We heeded no warnings that this was private property. At that moment we were only using it in passing.

We were foot sore by the time we reached the other side of the island, our bodies ten pounds lighter for the millions of drops of sweat pooling in our wake. The only thing that kept us from passing out in the humidity on the hike back was that we mugged my more appropriately geared family.

Reaching the other side of the cay where the rest of the boat was relaxing, we rested briefly before hunting down fresh pineapple and then stepping out to snorkel well into the twenty foot deep natural pool on the front side of the island. The ocean water was bath water warm and the swimming was easy, with a natural buoyancy that characterizes salt water. But the life jackets that one had to wear with full on face gear wouldn't allow for deeper diving. Swimming back in I took off the mask and life jacket and switched out for a smaller, lighter mask. The waves were small enough that someone could roll through them and I swam way out and dove down, looking at the bright parrot fish. The ocean was beautiful.

I feel like it's time.

For a little something about my religious views. *sigh* Cause, things like that are personal, and that's what you put in a blog thing, and I guess my religious views are a little skewed. I've had this conversation a couple times, and nothing makes it any easier in explaining it. If my mom would read this she would send me to church everyday.
Because I don't believe in God. Simple statement, bad consequences.
It's not like I haven't tried.
I spent a good thirteen years of my life devoting my time and effort to praising Him, but to no prevail, here I am at 16 and not only do we not have a personal relationship, but I do not believe in the Almighty. Why? Not because of personal tragedy, anything, such and such, other than, I do not believe that God, a god, or any type of deity created a completely infinite space. I don't think one thing could craft the Earth. I believe that the Bible was written to be followed and that if you don't listen to what it says than you may want to think about the basis of your faith.

I remember once that I prayed to God to find my flashlight. I was at church camp. It worked. There you go...

But I don't think that any God would create the good and the bad of the world. I believe humans are too proud to say we grew from primates and were placed here for no apparent reason other than to love one another and reproduce. Because we weren't put here for a reason, I don't think there is a reason.

If there was a God, he would want us to get over ourselves, stop praying in churches every once in a while, and enjoy a beautiful existence.

I have no desire to ever say there was an Adam and and Eve. I think that there were dinosaurs before there ever was a man and a woman and a snake.

I like to stare long ways into space and think about just how far it reaches.

Forever

I don't belive in anything. I don't belive in any other religion over another. There are too many, and they all came about to explain the meaning of life.
Most of them say the same things.
Live well.

Atheism is in non-belief. Some people see it as falacy, as if you can't "not believe", as if it is an opinion. I just don't think that there is a god. I just like to think that the world was made, a long long time ago, by a chaotic happinstance.
And we are man.

Some Christians like to fight with me about how I define morals if I don't have something to set them against. I like to see it as this, drugs are bad. Why are drugs bad? They mess up lives. How would you be able to tell if the good book didn't define morals yadda yad.... You can see their work, don't play dumb. Those are the conversations I dislike having when it comes to my lack of faith. Maybe its a little of a transcendental under-pull, but I believe in the good of man. Possibly humanistic, but I haven't studied enough to delve deeper into that. I just know that when I die, I would love to think that there would be angels and singing, but in fact, I know and I fear, that there will just be blackness.

For a long time.

That's why life is so important now.

A Life Less Ordinary

Would mean moving to Cameroon, just because the name sounds cool.
Or, skydiving, maybe?
Making tie-dye hair nets for a living.
Or, drinking nothing but carrot and scallion juice for 2 weeks.


Or being kidnapped by Ewan McGregor with a Joan Jett haircut. Love at first sight.

It won't always be like this.

So I'm going to take advantage of it

tripping balls with a pair of high flying bi-planes
you're so stuffed full of lemons and ice-cream, ew yum, get sum
sumlight extremist qualities and amazing gastro intestinal pyrotechniques
zebra sameness, hyena lameness
trippin balls trippin balls
couch potato soup
beat box jack in the
pants pants pants
squid octopi occupied
cry cry cry
trep trip trip
now I'm just typing everything that comes out
couch techno
couch love
couch ten things I hate about you
couch blue
couch 90's
couch set hut
trip trep slept
balls


I don't know what just happened

Death By Diamonds and Pearls

is by Band of Skulls, and is a good song, however, it is not really a "springtime" song, so I didn't put it in my playlist (see below)




my obsession

My Meager Sunshine Song List:

Song 2-Blur
Boys and Girls- Blur
Cut Your Hair -Pavement
Lust For Life- Girls
Summertime- Girls
Sweat- Inner Circle
Sugar Never Tasted So Good- The White Stripes
I Found A Whistle- MGMT
Congratulations- MGMT
Get On Your Boots- U2
Superfast Jellyfish- Gorillaz
Salmon Dance- Chemical Brothers
Blue Turning Gray- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Dear God -Monsters of Folk
Instead- Madeleine Peyroux

Morel

"No you bend your knee down like this", he said, showing me how. I mimicked his moves in front of him, trying to master just how it was you properly wrestled someone.
"Now you put your arm's like this!" and vaulting out of a crouch he put his arms around my waist and picked me up. My response was to just laugh, I couldn't actually move for fear of making both of us fall down hard onto the grass.
"I'm sure Grecian wrestlers always practiced with their female friends, and always at night" I said as he dropped me back to Earth and fell down on top of me, a smile gaping across his face.
"They aren't really a match compared to you, I'm sure, considering you have yet to pin me after all these 'attempts', I told you you didn't have a chance, and yet, you always come back for more. It's as if you like me or something." he said while brushing the grass and dirt of himself and clumsily picking out the sticks that had managed to engage themselves with my hair.
"I don't know where you get ideas like that, you manhandle me like Rosie O'Donnell broadcasts news...."
"With lots of cleavage?"
"Yes, that's what first came to mind"
"I thought so too"
We were laying down now, squinting up at the sky, the first days of spring hot and sweaty down our backs and in high supply of lemonade.
"Hey you" he said, and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, making a closed eyed smile at me.